>Today I was reminded of a common thought process that I simply don’t agree with. A friend of mine said basically that they were done with one way friendships. No longer are they going to put out all the energy to keep a relationship going. After all…friendship is a two way street.
“Friendship is a two way street” is something that I have heard from different people all of my life. The exact wording may be different but the idea is always the same. You shouldn’t pour your time and energy into someone else if you are not going to get that same effort back in return.
I have a couple different reasons that I disagree with this view on friendships/relationships. I will get into those in a moment but first let me say that I am not talking about a dating relationship. If you are trying to find someone to spend your life with then you should see that person put as much time and energy into your relationship as you are going to put into that relationship. What I am talking about is your other relationships. Your friends, your co-workers and even your family members for that matter. Now that I have cleared that up let’s talk about why I don’t agree with friendship being a two way street.
Reason number 1 is that Jesus said that it was not a two way street. In Luke 6 He explains that it is easy to love people when they love you back. Anyone can love those that love them, but we are suppose to love those that hate us and when someone borrows from you don’t ask for it back (that last part is one that most people don’t agree with…even if Jesus said it.)
So let’s say that you don’t really care what Jesus said because you don’t consider yourself a Christian or maybe you don’t think that is really talking about carrying on a relationship when it feels like you are the only one who is putting any effort into it. That is fine…but what about the people that poured into your life when you were uninterested and didn’t really care if they were there or not?
We have all had that teacher, friend, cousin or neighbor that was always doing something nice just because it was the right thing to do. We didn’t always appreciate them, we didn’t always want them around even, but they kept on doing the right thing and pouring their time and energy into our life. Where would you be without those people? What would your life be like if everyone in your life treated you like you sometimes choose to treat someone else?
I’m not saying you need to be a doormat…or maybe I am. My life (especially my adult life) has been spent doing my best to be there for other people. I don’t expect anything in return and a lot of times I get exactly what I expect. People have told me that I shouldn’t be that way. I shouldn’t waste my time on lost causes. I simply don’t agree. If you can’t help me in any way, that is all the more reason for me to help you. If I am doing something for you because you will repay me then I am doing it for me and not for you. You will never know true satisfaction from doing things with the expectation of repayment. Friendship is not a two way street. Give every chance you get. Do all you can for others. When you need a hand to help you up, you will be able to take your pick. It doesn’t take much to change a life or to rise above average when it comes to being a good friend.
Friendship can be a two way street…but if it ends up being a one-way road that doesn’t mean it is a dead end.